Have you ever caught yourself dreading meeting particular people, fearing their recurring comments on your appearances? And are the comments followed by your efforts to ‘fix’ the ‘flaws’ they have pointed out? If you can relate to this, you’re amongst many of us who have been body shamed.

Featuring Tabindah Anwar who works for the development sector. She believes in treating life as a journey; to constantly learn, un-learn, experience, and love.

My story is also very similar, and hopefully relatable to many. Growing up, I received comments on my weight. ‘Beta aapne kafi put on kar liya hai, thora wazan kam karo.” I did. ‘hye hye, you don’t look fresh at all, kya ker liya hai?’ ‘Beta, oil your hair more regularly’. I did.

Tabindah is in the "BORNU" jacket co-ords. Shop this now for Rs.4,698/-

I tried to please the aunties but just never could!

Tabindah is in the” Basanti” skirt co-ords. Shop this now for Rs.4,198/-

But my efforts in ‘fixing’ myself never stopped the comments. I started dreading meeting certain people. I remember this one incident clearly. I was looking forward to meeting some relatives on Eid, after a long time, and excited to share experience of my recent travel. The moment I entered the room, the entire conversation revolved around my grey hair, my weight, and my skin. I was disappointed to realise that certain interactions will never go beyond the surface level.

Tabindah is in the” Basanti” skirt co-ords. Shop this now for Rs.4,198/-

But eventually, I have come to a point where I no longer care or feel compelled to please others. I have also found a way not to be resentful towards those who say these things- this is what they grew up hearing and are only repeating a cycle.

And then it all changed!

What changed for me? Number of things. I started realising that external voices of people are projections of their internal insecurities. I started understanding uniqueness of oneself, through experiences of other women struggling with the same pressure of body shaming. I started questioning the “beauty standards” that society imposes on women. I started practicing self-love through meditation and yoga. I started surrounding myself with beautiful beings, and conversations that were beyond appearances. Individuality started mattering more. Mental and physical health started mattering more. I started gathering experiences with people who matter. And all that made me feel more comfortable in my skin; enough to experiment with an eccentric outlook.

Tabindah is in the "BORNU" jacket co-ords. Shop this now for Rs.4,698/-

I got my hair cut really short and I also discovered my love for traditional jewellery and clothes. I don’t think one excludes me from the other. I like my hair short, I like it grey but I also love my ghararas and lehangas!

Tabindah is in the Maal Phiri dress. Shop styles from this collection now!

I realized sneakers are the most comfortable work footwear and that I love loose big dresses and big neck pieces- and I don’t have to pick and choose and that it all goes together! Everything I like goes together- if I want it to. The only person who needs to be happy with the way I look is me!